Exactly 14 years ago today......

This was me...14 years and one day from today...pregnant with you, Justin...on the phone with Grandma...telling her they were going to induce me the next morning...all along, I was already having labor pains, didn't know it. We arrived at the hospital for induction at six o'clock in the morning, January 25th...you were due Jan 26th...nothing like waiting till the last minute,huh? You weighed in at 7 lbs, 11 oz....19 1/2 inches long....I cried when you were born, but so did you







...So today, my son...I say to you....







Happy Birthday, My Dearest Justin....

14 years ago today, you were placed in my arms for the very first time...


It seems like it was just yesterday that your Dad and I brought you home from the hospital. Even though I had already been through having your brother Timothy, I can still remember how nervous I was, holding you for that first time....wondering if I had it in me to be the mom to not one, but two little boys....but from the moment you looked at me, I knew that not only did I have more than enough love for both of you, I was in awe of you, I knew everything was going to be ok...it is a bittersweet reflection for me. I am so grateful for the blessing of your birth~because whether you realize it or not~you were a planned baby~Your Dad and I wanted you badly. We also wanted your brother Timothy to have a little brother to grow up with as well. Just the idea of you brought joy to our lives.....





You have grown up so fast....the time since you have came into my life has passed so quickly....I can remember like yesterday....getting you ready for your preschool graduation...sitting in the audience, watching your cute little self walk across that stage to get your "diploma."



It brings tears to my eyes, even now, as I sit here and type this....

Gone are the action figures, legos, matchbox cars and superheroes you so used to worship....no longer do you ride the kiddy rides when we go to amusement parks..

Now....it's the scariest, baddest rollercoasters you can find...it's all about the electronics, sports, friends and girls...

And um, the money...let's not forget that...



Justin, honey...you are on that precipice...not yet a man...no longer a little boy. I hang on the edge of that precipice with you, son. I so miss your younger years, yet...I am thrilled to see the young man you have become. You are everything I have hoped for you to be. Crammed between your overachieving older brother and your pesky little brothers, you have handled your position in our family well. Your kindness and giving spirit are continuously displayed to me, your Dad, your Step-dad and others...the world is definitely a better place with you in it.

As the years have passed, things have been very challenging for both of us..sometimes, we found ourselves in some very difficult situations. At times, I have made a mess of things as a mom (your dad and I divorcing, the difficult time with your then Step-Dad John)...and I may have not always done the right things, but I always tried and put you kids first, I tried, very hard to make you happy, when my own happiness was seeing you happy. I know your life hasn't always been easy, but through your strong spirit,you have overcome a lot. Not once have you ever placed blame on me, or got angry with me that I didn't always have money to give you the things you wanted, the things your friends had. The love you have for me, for your family, overwhelms me. You are a very affectionate person, you always have been. You wear your heart on your sleeve, just like your Mama. You also have a great sense of humour and you never fail to brighten the most dreary of days for me. Now that you live with your Dad, I don't get to see you as often, but you always make sure to call me, at least every other day....that is how thoughtful you are. I find such joy and peace in your happiness and your laughter. So, those phone calls, keep me going. Thank you for that.

I just want you to know, that I have truly enjoyed being your Mom. I have never deserved you, but I thank God for you every day. To say I am proud of you, would be an understatement. Every milestone you achieve is a personal milestone for me as well. I have learned so much from you and I am sure I will continue to do so in the years to come....how to forgive, how to love unconditionally and not expect anything in return, how to just enjoy the small, carefree things in life...the list is endless.

Thank you! You have made my life worthwhile and I am honored to call you my son as well as my friend. Now that you are older, I enjoy hanging out with you, going to the movies, etc....
I wish that I could just give you a portion of what you have given to me. I hope your dreams become a reality for you....and just know, regardless...your Mama will always be your biggest fan!

Live large, dream big, laugh often and love deeply.....

Happy Birthday, Baby Cakes.....
All My Love,
Mama