Well...last night began Season 7 of American Idol....I was glued to my set. At least...off and on.
After months of waiting, Season 7 finally kicked off with auditions beginning in Philadelphia. I thought about live blogging the show...but the kiddos had other ideas for me last night, so that didn't happen...but, maybe tonight.
Ok...let's review....
The first contestant to make it through to Hollywood...
Joey Catalano....He sang Maroon 5's Sunday Morning...I thought he was pretty good...he did fairly well. I was more impressed that he lost 204 lbs over the past year. Wow! But...as far as singing goes, I don't know if he will be around for the top 12.
Next up..the Egyptian guy....Alaa Youakeen....
He tried to sing the Bee Gees song, "How Deep Is Your Love"...but, um..no go. Although, Paula did appreciate how well he had learned the English language.
Next up...Melanie Nyema...
she was a lovely girl, sang back up for Taylor Hicks...nothing spectacular in her regards..but, she made it through to the next round. Although, I felt she sounded better than Taylor Hicks...(sue me...I'm not a big Taylor Hicks fan~I'm with Simon on that one).
Then the train wreck of really bad singers...people that really really thought they could sing, began....
Tour guide, James Lewis, said his voice was unique, new and different. Um..yeah, it was different all right....in a very laugable way. I was totally cracking up...right along with Paula and Randy...was this guy for real? He "tried" to sing "Go Down Moses"...in a really, really, really DEEP voice....not sexy...just creepy...what was funny, up until the end, was watching Simon's face...he did not crack a smile, up until the very end.
There were several others, following James...that were pretty bad...an awful rendition of Unchained Melody by one dude, some girl tried to sing I Love You I do...then another random guy. Didn't follow them too much..kids had me up and down.
After James and the 3 other horrible acts...things started to look up, at least a little...2 more made it through to Hollywood...Junot Joyner
He sang "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues"...I thought he did a very good job...he could possibly make it to the Top 12...maybe.
Then....Jonathan Baines...
I don't really remember what he sang, something country. He is only 17, so it will be interesting to see if he sticks around.
Then came the tearjerker....16 year old, football playing linebacker...Temptress Brown
...yes, a girl...a big girl...has to be to play linebacker....with a big heart. She was only doing this for her Mom..who was very ill...and after telling the judges that, she immediately captured their hearts, maybe not thier ears, but their hearts.
Heck, she just about made me cry..bless her heart! The judges, even Simon, felt sorry for her. They even escorted her back out to her family, after a group hug of course, that is...a group hug, without Simon.
Mark Hayes...another "not making it to Hollywood dude", does an impression of crickets chirping, before the audition, same sound after the audition. Dude sucked.
Moving on....
Then along comes Udi..
Udi..Udi...Udi....dude, what were you thinking? He totally believed that he could dance like M.C. Hammer and sing like Frank Sinatra..at least, that is what he said he had been told...what were these people on, crack? He sang, "My Way"....his way, which was an awful way..Simon said he was nuts, tuneless and slightly disturbing.
On that one, I have to agree.
Then what wonders before our eyes did appear...one of the Top 3 freaks of the evening...
Alexis Cohen....
Can we say freak out much? Dang....girl needed to be on Ritalin or something...she was a little off the wall. Maybe she wasn't on Ritalin, but I bet chick a dee was on something...meth, crack...I don't know..she was definitely riding the short bus...
Her look was a little wacky, not too much....but whoa...the glitter...and the purplish cracked lipstick...definitely not beauty school material....Simon told her performance was a little possessed. I didn't think her voice was too terribly bad...she said she had been told she sounded like Janis Joplin...the judges felt different...maybe a 60's cover band..but not Idol material. She calls Simon a "big fat word", then proceeds to get a little more wacky, flipping out, giving the bird, swearing a lot...then she starts spouting off that she is going to be an actress...maybe in a freakshow movie, or horror movie....all I can say is she was totally hamming it up for the camera...the more they taped her, the worse she got...towards the end, I just had to get up and walk away...enough already!
Whew...Alexis, she exhausted me...then, the epitome of sweetness, another Fantasia...Angela Martin....
She is another Single Mom...with a disabled child...she sings Stevie Wonders, "Signed, Sealed and Delivered" and does a very good job of it too...I can see them keeping her around for awhile....she has a few bad band habits that Simon pointed out to her, if she loses those, she will probably do pretty well...plus, she has a cuteness about her...you know, the look of a future Pop Tart....
Following Angela..there are several other female trainwrecks...lots of shrieking...nothing resembling much as far as singing goes....
The next train wreck performance...who was well over the age to be permissable...convinced Ryan to let him sing a song he wrote for the judges...
Milo Turk....
He said he had a public service announcement, in the form of a song he wrote....No Sex Allowed.....I am sure there has never been any sex allowed in his life...at least not any that wasn't self inflicted..or did'nt involve plastic blow up dolls...Dude...seriously....he was just totally creepy..reminds me of a dude I work with...(that's a story for another time...remind me of that, k?)....
Finally...after Milo...we have a winner.....one of the best of the evening...definitely a looker, someone that will definitely make it into the top 12....Kristy Lee Cook....(reminds me of the chick from Bob and Tom-at least her name does)....
Chick has the look and she is one tough cookie to boot...she lives in a log cabin, kickboxes, and cage fights...Simon had to ask her if she fought in jello, or mud...half naked with other chicks...we know where his mind was at when he was looking at her....anyway, she sang "Amazing Grace" and totally nailed it...beautiful.
She is definitely the total Idol package.
So...time for another train wreck...I thought the freaks only came out at night...but, I guess they brave the daylight...at least this one did....
Ben...
I don't even know his last name...can't get past the ass cheeks, fat and chest hair...dude, cover that shit up....Please...you are creeping us all out...he does leave, had his chest hair waxed and then comes back..he sang Don't Cha...at least some of it....I just know Simon was pissed, had him thrown out.
Freak number 3....the Stalker Dude...
Paul Marturano...
He wrote a song for Paula..it had to do with stalking and cross dressing in her underwear...he sang if she was a chalk board he would chalk her, a bathtub he would caulk her, if he was columbus, he would peter-faulk her...it was funny, but very creepy. I think Paula better watch her back with this one, maybe take out a restraining order...dude could totally be serious...Simon had security take him away.
Another Mom, Beth Stalker (coincidence..after the last dude...Mmmmm, don't know)....
She sings Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered. Nice voice...nothing special. Simon doesn't think she has anything that stands out, I have to agree..but Randy and Paula let her through. I think she will be cut first.
Finally, a top male singer, that definitely has lots of potential..at least in my opinion...Chris Watson...
He wants to sell a lot of records, after he dies...ummm...ok...he sang "Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker...I just love that song...he did a great job and I think he will definitely be around for the Top 12.
Last Freak of the evening...or dork...as she so repetitively referred to herself as...
Star Wars, Princess Leah Freak...Christina Tolisano....
She talks about all the attention she gets from guys at Star Wars conventions, (male versions of her I would assume) and how she is going to name her future kids after Star Wars characters...she attempts to sing "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me"...she was terrible, quite ear piercing if you ask me, Paula stops her...she takes the rejection pretty hard...cursing in front of her elderly grandparents...then spouting off how Idol is all about looks..she's a dork...doesn't wear much makeup, just concealer to cover her pimples...lol...she pretty much says only the Barbie girl types make it...all I can say is image plays a big factor...you have to have the look...girlfriend needs to quit her whining and walk...no run...to the nearest beauty salon and make over counter....
Last audition of the night ended very well...Brooke White...a nanny....
a married Nanny...who doesn't watch R-rated movies, drink or smoke....but she sings like a nobody's business. She has a great voice, very pure, very sweet...Simon told her he was going to bring her over to the dark side...she pretty much dared him too.
I think she will be around for a while too...
Well, folks...that's a wrap...What did you think? Who were your favorites...the freaks, the geeks, the actual good ones?
Stay tuned tonight...Part 2...auditions....
8 P.M...Fox....
Dixiechick...out.
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