Freaking Ex-husband....

Ok, as most of you that have been reading my blog for sometime knows...I have two ex-husbands....The first one was way older than me, I married him way too young, I asked him for a divorce when I was 25....he was a good provider, he is a good dad, but he wasn't much of a good husband..he chose his sports/friends over spending time with me..and we just drifted apart..

While going through my divorce with him, I met the second ex-husband...the biggest loser God ever put on this earth. I was with him for over five years...married only two of those years...we have nine year old together....we have been divorced for 7 years...the reason for our divorce are too many too lists...but, I was the one that filed. He was a drug addict/he abused me and he would not work. To this day, he still doesn't work...he lives with his 70 year old father and mooches off of him, living off of his social security. He has not paid me child support for nine year old since last September....my husband Keith takes care of all of Aaron's needs, pays for his health insurance, everything....we have not pushed the issue of the non support because to put nine year olds dad in jail..would not be good for nine year old, as he would fine fault with me and resent me for it. The ex still gets visitation with the nine year old, and my son loves his dad to death. In his eyes, his dad can do no wrong....I don't want to rock the boat. But, I am getting so tired of not having any financial support.

For instance today, he is picking our son up at noon, keeping him until next Friday...I have posted before that Aaron has ADD...and he takes medication for this...he is out of his medicine, my husband had called in the refill prescription to CVS and asked loser ex to please go pick up the medicine. It is only $27....He can't...why? He has no money....go figure! I asked him if even had money for food, he goes, Yeah, that is why I don't have any other money...I had to buy groceries...

I have bent over backwards for this man...I have put up with more crap then any woman should ever have had to put up with since I have known him....he has not held a steady job in almost nine years. I have put together a resume'...given him job leads...he will not get a job! He says it is my fault..for pressing charges of spousal abuse against him...he now has a felony on his record...(oh, did I mention the drugs-yeah, he was busted for that to, plus add a couple dui's in there)...guess that is all my fault too, huh?

I know he is not on drugs any longer...I do know he loves our son...and our son loves him...but, I am getting really sick of having to go to work everyday, provide for my family..while he sits around on his pathetic ass....I pray my son, eventually...will get a real hard long look at his dad and not turn out like him.

I hope the ex realizes what a poor example of man hood he is setting for his son.

Rant over...

Treadmill...I want one!!!!

I really would like to have one of these...for my basement. I love running. I am planning on doing my first 5 k on August 15th in Indianapolis....so, I am working on my speed/time. Currently, I can run a mile in 9 minutes, 15 seconds. I would like to get it under 9 minutes. That would totally rock! Treadmills are good for helping you keep up on your data...running outside, not so much. I can't go to the gym every day. It puts too much stress on the hubby. I went last night, and ran 4.25 miles....after running 6 miles on Monday.
So, tonight is my "non gym" night. I plan on going for a run outside, when it cools down. But, having a treadmill in my basement would allow me to run when he is sleeping and not interfere with having to ask him to bring me water after 20 minutes....

Maybe I should check out Craigslist or something....can't afford a new one...hell, who am I kidding...can't afford one period. But man...it sure would be nice.

Worries...worries...worries.....

19 year old called me yesterday....seems he has developed this lump on the back of his head, and his hair is falling out around this lump. He said his step mom squeezed it and this stuff came out of it, but later on, he put his hand up to rub it and some more of his hair came out. I am very worried. When things are not right with my kids, things are not right with me. Of course, I did the thing any normal blogger mom would do, I googled it....I tend to think it may be a sebaceous cyst....He went to the doctor, they put him on an antibiotic...if that doesn't work to dissolve it, then I guess he goes back. Please, if I have any readers left, beside Sicilian and Jerry...pray for him that it really is nothing more than that.

On another front, 9 year old got bit by a dog last night. I am so pissed! He said he was playing one of the neighbors mutts....that is what it is..don't know what mixed breed it is, but anyway, I guess the dog got a little over exuberant, and clamped his jaw down on 9 year olds leg....left a bruise and scratch mark...didn't break through the skin..but, it still worried me. Hubby wouldn't let me take him to the doctor....he had a tetanus last year...how long are those good for? I cleaned it, put neosporin on it. I want to call the pound on the dog, but the kids begged me not to. Said it wasn't a mean dog, they were just playing. I want to go confront the owners, tell them to keep the damn thing on a leash, before it gets too rough again, and hurts a child, my child, again. What would you do? I told them to stay away from the dog. It is not rabid, it is a family pet. But, still....I am concerned.

I went to the gym last night...ran 6 miles on the treadmill. For some reason it took me longer last night.....I just wasn't feeling it. I had to really push myself to get through it. But all this running is having an effect. I weighed myself this morning and I am down 2 more pounds....108 lbs. So, I think I will treat myself and have something decent for lunch today. Anything that does not have the word salad in it.

Hope all of you are having a great week!

Dixiechick....

Finally....Friday!

I love Fridays! Not only because it is finally the end of a long long week, but it is the beginning of the weekend and I get to wear jeans to work. Hopefully the day will go by quickly.

We had a friend over for dinner last night and had such a great evening. A lot of wine was consumed and I am afraid to say, I am somewhat hung over this morning. That makes for a long work day, let me tell you. I don't think I will be partaking of the wine for quite some time.

I got the most wonderful surprise in the mail yesterday. I am so touched by this....a special friend I have made through this blog, sent me a wonderful card yesterday. He enclosed a gift card to Target...my favorite, favorite store.....Jerry, if you are reading this....you made me cry dude! No one has ever done anything like that for me before. You blew my mind! From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It has been very tough on us financially for some time...and there are no words for the kindness you showed to me. You are awesome! Your act of kindness totally restored my faith in human beings. There are still some pretty amazing people in this world.

Have a great weekend everyone! I know I plan on it!

Gripe.....

You know what gripes my ass? How rude, stuck up and "my shit don't stink" the people I work with are....I am so seriously disliked here it is not even funny. I walk in the door, no one speaks a word, no good morning, no hello, no kiss my ass, nothing...anyone else walks in the door in the morning, everyone speaks...what the hell have I done to these people that they can't say a thing to me when I walk in the morning..I am like the office out cast....and I don't know why! I am so pissed at the silent treatment I continuously get I am seething.

Why do I let it bother me? I don't know...but it does. Just like high school....where you want to fit in...you want to be part of the crowd, but you are not....but at least in high school, I had lots of friends, people spoke to me..here, I just hate it.....the silent treatment is not fun. One bitch in particular, waddles her fat ass around here like she is Queen of the place...she is so perfect and such an ass kisser, I want to vomit....I have been here five years...busted my ass, used to be utilized to fill in when the office manager needed help or was gone....but once miss fat ass started, I for some reason was not utilized to "help" anymore....she is the branch managers favorite, the office managers favorite, and just a couple weeks ago, she won employee of the freaking month...for doing what? Her damned job? Like I said, there have been times, lots of times, in the past five years that I have jumped in, helped out, did the office managers crap, not once have I ever been recognized for my efforts.

Put all that together with the annoyance of Mr. Burns, some days, I honestly feel like crying when I have to come in here to work.

I need to win the lottery....it's the only way out of this hell....

If I could get blood out of this.....

Then I could probably make money grow on trees.....



But, alas...neither are meant to be....as it stands, the stress level I have regarding our finances is through the roof. Hubby keeps telling, not to worry..not to worry....but, that is really hard not to do....

I hate Mondays..that is no secret....this weekend was very uneventful...nothing of interest to even talk about...Friday night I worked out after work for almost three hours, while hubby ran down to meet his mom to pick up Max....afterwards, he came to the gym to pick me up and we went to the grocery and struggled through trying to buy enough groceries to get us from Friday to this Friday....we had less than $100 to do so, so I perused the Payless sales flyer online, made a list..bought only what was on sale and we managed to spend exactly what we had alloted. I had forgotten how tough that really is. Saturday, we had terrible rain showers in the afternoon....but once they stopped, the sun came out and I went for a 4.25 mile run...For the week, I have ran over 17 miles....I only made it to the gym twice for cardio/strength training, wanted to go back on Sunday for a full body circuit on the strength training part, but it didn't happen.

I was awakened early Sunday morning, somewhere around 7:30 a.m...by the obnoxious rumble of car after car going by the front of our house. We live very close to the street and directly across the street from our house is a church with a beautiful church lawn, and every year at this time, they have an outdoor church service/gospel singing and antique car show. It goes on all day and they are very loud. I tossed and turned for half an hour and realized it was futile, so I got up, made some coffee and spent some time on the computer, that is until hubby got up..and Max.
(Aaron spent a week with his dad and then left Sunday afternoon to go back to Terre Haute to spend a week with his Aunt/Uncle and cousins.)

I did some light housework, then showered and dressed....we had to pack Aaron a suitcase with some clean clothes, etc..to take over to his dads, as he was goig to leave with his aunt/uncle who were up visiting Aaron's grandfather (dad's dad), due to it being his birthday. We ran that over...went to the mall and window shopped (no money, remember)...and I hate doing that...looking at the pretty clothes, wishing I had some, and knowing I cant...but, it killed a couple hours.

Came home and had to listen to Max whine and be defiant...I don't know what the hell is gotten into that boy, but he has become so argumentative...let's just say he popped off at the mouth to his Dad and I both and got sent to his room for a while...he thinks he can have the run of the neighboorhood, go to whatever playmates house he chooses, whenever he wants. I have to remind him, he is six and a half, not sixteen....driving me crazy! I really believe he is going to be a trial lawyer when he grows up. LOL.....

Well, guess I better get to work....wouldn't do for me to lose my job over blogging now would it...I need it to bad.

Have a great week everyone!

Happy Hump day....

Middle of the week..ay yi yi....can't wait for this week to be over. Things are in a slump here at work..same old same old...Mr. Burns driving me bonkers...day in and day out....this job is so boring. But, with the economy the way it is..hubby being laid off...our finances don't allow for me to complain. At least I have a job, seems to be pretty secure..for now. Hopefully hubby is only on lay off one more week.
Very stressful trying to pay bills, put food on the table with no money but mine coming in. I have cut back on everything...it helps when the two little ones are gone to grandmas and their dads for a week at a time...then I only have to worry about feeding hubby and myself...I don't eat much. So, not a lot of groceries in the house this week. Sucks to be this freaking broke! I hate it....it's only temporary...I hope...so, I shouldn't complain too much I guess. Some people are much less fortunate...at least we don't have to worry about losing our home..just our electric being turned off, our car being repossessed...we are $75 behind on last month's car payment, which will be paid this Friday, but the loan company we have the car through are relentless...they are calling me every freaking day. (They won't reposses it, but their phone jocks will threaten to..can't wait to pay this car off and get out from in under freaking CPS...don't ever ever get a loan through these people...they have such unfair business practices..hell, some car dealerships now are telling you, get a loan with us, you get laid off, lose your job, return the car at no penalty. We are less than a hundred dollars behind on our clunker and they threaten to come and get it...let em'...no skin off my nose. Hubby has tapped into his 401 K and we should get that check a week from this Friday ( I hope) and we can get our bills caught up...but, hell...in the meantime...it is causing some major stress...On top of that... all the female issues I have had over the past month...3 trips to the doc and numerous test...we now have medical bills out the ass....insurance only covers so much...the rest is up to us...I hate getting sick, but I truly think stress just aggravated my condition...Thank God I am all better, all tests came back negative...but, seriously, the stress until I found out the test results were out the window.

On the positive front...my oldest son had his 19th birthday last Friday...he turned 19...wow, seems just like yesterday he was a teeny baby...and I was dealing with the colic...then he was walking talking and being absolutely adorable...I love that boy to death...and it is hard for me to look at him now and see he is a grown man....responsible for himself...Hubby and I drove to Terre Haute last Friday, took him to lunch for his birthday...I gave him a small check for his birthday, which I had to ask him to hold until our 401 k money is in our checking... I felt like shit having to do that...I think he understood, what with hubby being laid off and such...at least I hope he did. Hell, I haven't gotten a card or a gift from my mom for my birthday since I was freaking 17 years old...well, maybe a card or two over the last 20 years..but, as you get older, birthdays just aren't that big of a deal anymore. I do what I can...that is all I can do. I just hope that I have raised him/along with his Dad where he will learn to appreciate the gesture, not the monetary value behind it. He will go spend tons of money on girlfriends, but when it was mothers day, or my birthday...I got nothing...not a card, nothing...although he did call me. I just hope he will start priortizing things a little better as he gets older.

For the 4th..hubby and I did nothing...we went out to eat at a new restuarant. That is all. It was a great new Hawiaan Place....Polynesian food is now one of my new favorites...

Sunday...for the first time, hubby took me canoing...I thought I would hate it...I am not much of an outdoorsy kind of gal...but, I loved it...I can't wait to go again. Next time, I would like to take the little boys, I think they would get a kick out of it.

Well, guess I better get back to work...6 hours 20 minutes left...aiy yi yi...don't know if I am going to make it. Pray for me....