Over 10,000 people showed up in Charleston, South Carolina, hoping to grab their 10 minutes of fame, or possibly a Golden Ticket to Hollywood. Out of that 10,000 only 23 got that Golden Ticket. I am so sad, my southern co-horts did so terribly. Seriously....there were only 4 Golden ticket recipients shown on last nights show.
Last season, 4 of the final 12 were from the South...because of that...my expectations were really high...man, was I disappointed. I feel like I totally wasted an hour of my life last night...and no, I did not see one single person I knew...lol.
First audition began with Raysharde Henderson...a.k.a..the black Clay Aiken...I am not a Clay Aiken fan, but nowhere could I see any resemblance to Clay Aiken...too funny!
Dude also had the "fro" going on....seriously dude...trim that bush down!
He sang, "I Can't Make You Love Me"...he had good quality to his voice...but he couldn't control it...not noteworthy.
Randy told him it was over the top, Paula said it was too theatrical, not pop Idol material and Simon told him it was too 1970's cruise ship cabaret.
So...three no's...no Golden ticket for the Black Clay Aiken....
Obviously, the show was determined to get all the bad they could in first....
Next up was waitress DeAnna Prevatte...
DeAnna was from Albermarle, NC...the same home town as Kellie Pickler....she thought she sounded as good as Kellie Pickler, or she wouldn't be there....um, no..girl looked like she should have been called Flo....she was angry, scowling and proceeded to do a terrible rendition of Reba McEntires "Fancy"....there was nothing fancy about her or the way she sang the song...at one point, she even got down on the floor, howling like a wounded animal..being kicked repetitively...
Anyway, Simon thought she was very angry, he even called her a "little tiger"...giving her a no....Randy and Paula agreed with Simon. I personally think her song choice should have been "Hard Knock Life" from the musical Annie...I actually felt kind of sorry for her...
The bad just keep come on coming....next up....Randy Stark and Crystal Ortiz..
These two met on the Idol Message Boards...they are so "in love"....totally all over each other...they attempt to sing "She's More" by Andy Griggs and it is just awful..but they are totally oblivious...the cupids flying around their heads, with their wings flapping, must drown out the sound of their voices....they are looking into each others eyes, smiling....you can just feel the sweetness...
The judges are oblivious to it though...they are terrible...Simon tells them it is a horrible audition and If he was in their family, he would definitely tell them not to ever sing out loud again....then he proceeds to tell them to check into a hotel..
So a no is given, from all three judges.
After those two...I didn't have high hopes for the next couple, who happened to be a brother/sister team....Michelle and Jeffrey Lampkin....
I was pleasantly surprised....
These two were a ton of fun...especially Jeffrey...dude was totally out of control...but he did have a good voice....sister was ok, but Jeffrey was definitely the stronger of the two...they were in perfect harmony, singing R.Kelley & Celine Dion's "I Am Your Angel"..kind of an odd choice for a brother and sister to sing..but, it worked for them...Simon told them they were a breath of fresh air, but he told Jeffrey he was much better than his sister...Paula felt they had a beautiful tone...Randy felt they were in tune...but gave a yes to Jeffrey and a no to Michelle....Simon and Paula gave a yes to both, stating they couldn't split the two of them up and Simon told Jeffrey he had three months to get his sister in shape....Welcome to Hollywood! I expect some great things from these two....he reminds me a little of Rueben Studdard, don't you think so?
Ok...after finally being able to give out a couple of Golden tickets, I thought...hey we are on a roll...but, um, no....there were still several goofballs that followed the brother/sister duo....nothing worth mentioning...nothing memorable....
Then...innocence prevails....truthfully...with 16 year old Amy Catherine Flynn...
Amy is the leader of her dance team at her high school and also a speaker for STARS....Students teaching/respecting sexuality....in other words, she preaches about abstinence...and boy, does she preach to Simon....was kind of funny....Simon goes, Yeah, I can see that happening...tells her to make sure she stops and gives the same speech to Ryan Seacrest when she leaves...too funny.
Anyway, Amy sings "Reflections" by Christina Aquilera....she does a pretty good job...Paula said she is nice and innocent, gives her a yes....Simon told her the song was too big for her, that she was annoying and a lot of people were going to find her that way...and then he told her that she was not as good as she thought she was..but, all in all....he still gives her a yes...Randy told her she had mad potential...and gives her a yes as well...she's going to Hollywood! After she leaves the audition room, the judges are commending her preaching about abstinence, but as always Simon has to get the last word and makes the remark, "I give her one day in L.A. and that will change".....lol.
Following Amy, we have another blonde beauty...typical southern belle...London Weidberg....
Unfortunately, the most exciting thing about her, other than her pretty face, is her name...which, of course, Simon liked...they had to build her up by telling the story of how she had to put her "music career" on hold due to her father dying from cancer, three years ago....three years ago I said....must have been a really big music career....um, anyway....she sang Billie Holidays "Good Morning Heartache"...Randy felt she had a nice tone, Paula said she had an engaging nice bluesy/pop tone about her and Simon was not too impressed...he told her she was like 1000's of other singers, nothing unique..but all three did give her a yes...so, she is going to Hollywood...I don't see her making it too far, at least not with her voice...maybe with her looks...I am sure they will make her up in true Carrie Underwood fashion, throw on some short dresses and she might make it to the top 25...we will just have to wait and see.
Then we are introduced to Female Air Force C-17 pilot, Lyndsey Goodman....pre-audition, Idol played her up so well, I was expecting something seriously great from her...unfortunately, she disappointed...
She sang an ok rendition of "Black Velvet"...but you could tell she was extremely nervous and that nervousness overshadowed her performance...
Randy and Paula felt she had a voice..but they noted her nervousness as well and Simon felt she replicated a cabaret singer, not a recording artist, so she is given three no's.
As we have seen, in all past Idol auditions, there are always a couple that feel they have the best voice ever and no amount of criticism from the judges will make them think otherwise...we saw two of those last night....
The first over the top "I can really sing" performer was Aretha Codner...
It is one thing to think your are better than what you actually are, but this girl totally took it to a different level...She starts out by telling the judges that she is named after Aretha Franklin....I don't know if they heard or not, because the minute she walked in, you didn't see her, you seen the two torpedoes sticking out from her chest..Yowza...the judges immediately started laughing at her....she sings Whitney, (another Whitney fan), " I Have Nothing"...could she have picked a harder song to sing? I think not....I mean, she starts out ok...but she crashed quickly....Simon made fun of her clothes, then told her she murdered the song....Aretha started arguing with Simon...telling him that yes, she does have a beautiful voice....that her voice is amazing..to her family, to people that don't even know her...she says she stops crowds, people listen to her and they are just like "Wow"...Simon asked her "Do you mean the crowd disappears?" and Aretha told him they come closer....Simon says, "Holding anything"...really funny..girl was desperately trying to convince the judges....but, all she got was three no's and a pissed off Simon!
Unfortunately though, Aretha was not the worst...Joshua Boson, proved himself to be the single biggest idiot and asshole on the planet....first off, red pants and black shirt...too pimp looking...honestly...who the hell dressed him?
Dude truly gives the South a bad name....he attempted to sing a very bad rendition of "And I Am Telling You, I Am Not Going"...originally by Jennifer Holliday and sang by Jennifer Hudson, our previous Idol recording artist....he murdered it. It was a screeching/yelling Idol nightmare....very "low country"...........the judges told him that it wasn't good enough....all three agreed, "NOT GOOD"...Joshua flipped the hell out....seriously, I wanted to give him a good kick in the nether regions myself..
He proceeded to tell the judges, "Ya'll should never have ever come to South Carolina, because this is what you are going to get."...Simon told him he had a great attitude (being sarcastic) then Joshua told Simon that the show was fake and rigged...Simon was PISSED...he goes "What did you say?" and Joshua said, "Faked and rigged. Because I can sing. I knew I was going to be cut; I told everyone that."
Simon told him he was deluded and very rude...Joshua continues to argue with Simon....and Simon argues back, again telling him he is rude and deluded....Joshua told Simon, "Well, I will just leave it at that, because I am a good person and you are not."
Paula starts to talk, telling him she thinks he has a lot of personality, but Joshua just walks out on her...he slammed the door hard as he left....he tells Ryan a bald faced lie, that the judges said all of South Carolina had absolutely no talent, South Carolina sucked, it was all over the news...which was totally untrue and made him look even more like the ass that he is...
I think Joshua and Aretha should hook up....then they could make a "worst of Amercian Idol" show....
Wow....after Joshua...I didn't know if I could take anymore...but, the South Carolina auditions wrapped up with the birth of Emma Grace Highman...her father was in the audition line, set to be the first audition, when he got the news that his wife was in labor..so, Idol gave him a second chance..I liked Oliver Highman, a lot more than the judges did..
He sang "Get Here"...I thought he was pretty good...I am sure the dude was exhausted...maybe that made him a little nervous..he should have been given a Golden Ticket..but, no....Simon felt it was too old fashioned/corny....he took it well, and asked the judges if they at least wanted to see his baby..they of course said yes, and she was adorable..the judges were cooing/ooing/awwing over her...Simon even said, He felt like that was his baby...um, ok..Simon..that was weird...I felt bad for him, after seeing the baby, Paula did too...she said she wished she could change her mind, but it was too late....
Well, that was it...the SC auditions...what a disappointment...
Next week, Idol heads to the heartland...Omaha, Nebraska...I hope the hell they have their game on..because after last nights Charleston auditions...it can't possibly get worse...it has to get better....
Now, thus far...we have our guesses as to who might be in the top 24....and I have a secret...I know, 100% who some of those might be....I have a spoiler link for you...click on it, only if you dare...it is the top 24, photos of them, filming a car commercial..
Pictures and video have emerged from the American Idol Top 24 video shoot of a Ford Commercial yesterday. The camera crew spotted “16 finalists”. I see some of my favorites in there!
Just go to this link....
http://www.rickey.org
Don't ever say Dixie doesn't have the latest and isn't on top of her game...because I totally researched this for you Idol lovers out there....but, if you don't want to know...don't click..M'kay?
That is all...
Dixiechick....out!
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